“My Husband Walked Out On Us”

(From the Diary of a Sad Housewife)

“I dug my heels in one time too many over the years and refused to compromise; it was my way or no way. I didn’t care. Finally, my husband walked out. I guess he just got tired. I took as much as I could take from him, until he didn’t feel like giving any more. I made a mistake. I was wrong, but it’s too late. I want him back but he does not want to come back.

“We had three children together. The children miss him and ask daily ‘when is daddy coming home?’ He’s made it clear repeatedly he wasn’t leaving them, but me. I’ve been in control of this marriage since it started. I controlled everything, the finances, what we could spend money on and couldn’t, and it was all about my choices, what I thought was right, until my husband walked away.

“Now I see I showed him no respect. I robbed him of his significance, his opinion, his input, me, a selfish, self-centered control freak. I played the game and lost. The year before I told him I was leaving. I was trying to get my way. Before my husband walked he pleaded with me to work it out but I was bull headed and strong and thought this would make him into what I wanted him to be.

“Then something changed. He said, ‘If that is your decision, then I will live with it.’ I hurt him deeply and I was too selfish to recognize that whatever he felt for me was severed. I didn’t leave I stayed and now one year later he’s gone. Relationships are about compromise, not manipulating the other partner to get your needs met, to get your way all the time. That’s why my husband walked.

“I didn’t realize what my husband meant to me until now. Even though my husband walked, he hasn’t quit doing his duties for our children. I miss him now that he has moved on. I’m hoping he will change his mind. My life has changed. I’ve tried to complain to him, blame him for the condition our family is in but he is not buying it. To make matters worse, I spew out anger at him, even say things in front of our kids but he refuses to add fuel to my fire.

“I’m hurt. I tell everyone in the family how he hurt me, how he’s doing me so wrong. If I could just get him to come back, I promise to do better.”