Mentally Challenged Adults Are People Too

The Friendship Games have been hosted in the South Florida community for over 26 years. It is a day where agencies who work with the mentally challenge come together to compete for prizes, clothing, dancing, singing and searching for friends to win watches.

My husband and I have spent the last 15 years volunteering. We are in charge of feeding the volunteers who come to make it a fun filled day. We serve water and soda to the clients and every year we experience something different. This year they were more open to our push to get more water into them before they started drinking sodas. They would drink soda all day if we gave it to them. If you tell them they can have soda around lunch time, they will keep coming back asking if it is lunchtime yet. 

This year there was a new face who walked around just staring at everyone, asking questions occasionally, or commenting. He asked one of the ladies was she married. She said “yes” and pointed to her husband. His immediate response, “Is that your son?” He didn’t mean any harm. That is how he saw the two of them. We laughed it off in love.

Mentally challenged adults usually are hidden away, their families are ashamed of them. People are more tolerant when they are young, but they do grow up. I have to admit I never really thought about the daily challenges until it happened in our family. I am thankful to have been a volunteer with Friendship Games before my personal experience.

It has been through my volunteer efforts and getting to know the people who work in this field on a day to day basis, plus interacting with those who are mentally challenged that I have come to appreciate the childlikeness, even in those adult bodies. I have learned to not be offended at their innocent remarks and reactions--and sometimes even manipulative behavior—but to take it in stride, be strong when I need to and to show love and caring in all encounters.

What you discover in many, they still dream, want to become, even though those around them think they are crazy, disregard them and don’t want to be bothered. There is one young lady I have cultivated a coaching relationship with over the years. She writes poetry, has put some of her words to music, she is always sending me tips and ideas that she has used in managing her life in spite of. And, yes, occasionally, she shares her paranoia of hearing things, and thoughts of people trying to poison her food, coming into her house, things being moved in her house, receiving packages she didn’t order.

I never laugh. I listen. Sometimes she says, “You probably think I’m crazy.” I tell her, “I don’t think you’re crazy, but there is something going on that is disturbing you.” Sometimes I make suggestions like, “Maybe you ought to get a camera, or tape recorder.” 

I believe everyone has something to contribute, even though they may act different, say different things, believe different. I have learned to respect and not disregard, make fun, talk down to, but to treat them as people too.

          

Thought I would share a poem from her new book Let Me Be Me
(click here) And if you feel inclined buy a copy of her book, she would be thrilled.