It seems that many were surprised at the breakup of Justin and Katrina (not their real names). On the outside they appeared to be doing well. For at least seven years weight did not seem to be an added problem to their relationship until they undertook to begin an exercise program of walking daily. Who they were before and after weight loss began to take a different turn.
The rumors started to fly that their marriage was on the rocks, she was threatening to leave him. What could have happened between high school sweethearts, two skinny people and five children later? Where did they lose their self-esteem and began to settle for expecting nothing from each other? This before and after weight loss picture is not uncommon: one takes off the weight, self-esteem began to go up and suddenly the other is no longer tolerable.
It happens more often than you hear about, but it happens. Who can you blame for this broken marriage, the wife, the husband, the children? In some cases later down the road there is regret: “I wish I had stayed fat. Look what losing weight cost me?” The truth of the matter the weight was just a symbol of what was already deteriorating in the marriage, the symptoms of the before and after weight cause it to come crashing down.
Each person has to examine themselves and own up to their part before and after weight fallout.
They had not been communicating for years. What is sad, they had not recognized that they had loss touch with each other emotionally until the pounds started to disappear. They woke up out of the thickness of their weight and realized it was over a long time ago.
The before and after weight loss story does not have to end that way. It didn’t end that way for Regina and Michael (not their real names). As Michael put it, “When I saw her looking vibrant and the weight dropping off, I thought I better get out there and join her.” He did and they both enjoy a healthier lifestyle, plus have had a long marriage. All before and after weight loss stories do not have to end in a break up.
Justin and Katrina’s breakup was more about what they had let go of already in their relationship and what they thought they were holding on to was misery and it took removing the physical condition to reveal what had been happening already in their hearts. Losing the weight gave each the courage to act. The before and after weight loss increased their self-esteem and motivated them to act, causing them to not only lose the weight but to lose their connection as a family.
What we learn from their story is what to watch out for, identify the real culprits and instead of being deceived by the increased confidence, if it is bringing wrong thoughts, stop and think before you act on your before and after weight loss feelings. Perhaps this might be a good time to seek counseling together.
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